the deer of LA

i messed up my gut in New Jersey

guzzling Stanleys of drip cut with goat milk.

the fawn hesitated before the car 

like a first time jumper.

cops were called and everything.

my mom fears coyotes,

unaware they are the deer of LA.

(if you’re not a small animal, don’t worry)

my dad loves Flappers with one critique:

the jokes skew raunchy.

too much talk about sex. 

we search for somewhere healthy for lunch.

they ponder selling the house.

longevity influencers claim air travel 

ages you five years per flight.

if that's true 

i am older than 

my parents.

Emily Woods is a writer and former SoundCloud rapper from Virginia currently living in Los Angeles. She co-produces a new script reading series called  OFFSCREEN with her friends and is working on her debut short story collection about her prolific career as a petsitter.