everyone went south beyond south
you followed suit
a common-law wife
evading the cops
your contemporaries half saint
half addict
covered in sores and sex
subsisting on fun
writing the next best American novel
which couldn’t be put into words
your husband’s wild eyes
drilling holes in your heart
the tissue dripping through you
pooling in your feet
turning you on
Mexico in red
the summer heat pressing in
folding you over like a five-dollar bill
discarded with
the maraca pill bottles
and the maudlin love notes
littering the muslin bed
and the sun is under his skin
making his veins roll
you try to bring him
iced tea
or iced anything
or poems better
than any man’s manifesto
but he prefers party tricks
like coughing up confetti
or shooting a shot glass
off your head
you were trying to be the best
wife/keeper/mother-fucker
but Mexico City
is a better woman than you
and your husband
is a better woman than you
and the airborne bullet
is a better woman than you
and the blood on the floorboards
is a better woman than you
and god is a better woman than you
except for or especially when
he allows all this horror
and the beauty of your husband
is not lost on you
left arm outstretched
loose and unravelled
the gun a sixth finger
lightweight for lovers
nothing real
and he is boyish again
30 going on 10
toy cowboy
who never wanted you dead
but didn’t want you alive
either
your shot glass halo
hits the floor
more in-tact than you are
and someone is pushing you
back into your head
as you pour out into the world
putrefying the room
pure beyond pure
and you hope the blood hits
his literary career
but it just sprays out
onto the wall
strange bedfellows
overlook your body
and everything
becomes nothing
becomes everything
again
each eye socket
an ouroboros
as you feel it all
until black eats you up
and summer buries you
within itself
as your husband mourns
his poor aim
Giselle Linder is an Australian-born artist currently based in Paris, France. She has published two poetry collections and recently released her debut spoken word track, titled 'However Far I Go', with Paris Heretics. Her work has been included in various publications such as Dream Boy Bookclub, Nowhere Girl Collective, Version Originale and Querencia Press, and she has performed as a featured artist at poetry events in France, Ireland, Spain and throughout the American South.