life of daddy
Far removed from being a synonym for father, the term “Daddy” has been used as a metaphor for broader implications across time, space, and societies. The etymological origin of the term is believed to stem from an infant’s first utterances, resembling "da-da" for "father," which has commonly been used as "dada," "dad," or "daddy." However, its definitions have radically reconfigured in recent times, so much so that it rarely evokes a singular paternal image, and carries a spectrum of connotations from being sexual branding for elderly male partners to nicknames for politicians. While these radical reconfigurations have also almost transformed it into slang, they simultaneously suggest its potential to become an integral part of political jargon in the future. At this juncture of rapid change, revisiting certain pivotal moments in the long history of the term "Daddy" may be of interest.
As we navigate an era of generative AI, overwhelmed by the sense that technology is intrusive and that our lives are being monitored, humankind’s submission to the digitalisation-driven ecosystem keeps increasing with time. In this space, the same things are shuffled and fed to us collectively, rendering society rather homogeneous in its consumptions. This also lets certain thoughts or trends gain enormous visibility over others, such as the case of the daddy metaphor. However, the 21st-century high-visibility version of the term circulated by the new media has been reduced to only a trend, obliterating the inherent heterogeneity of the metaphor. This makes it integral to travel the historically complex journey of the term that has led to its recent-day adaptation, only to realise the nature of its imminent fate.
One of the most common usage of the daddy metaphor is in expressing apprehension, particularly towards older, superior men, by those in socially subordinate positions. While many deductions can be made about such kinds of associations, one certainly is the omnipresence and omnipotence of patriarchy, resulting in the superiority preceding the “oldest man” in every social setting. Conventions like the pater familias, or the eldest male member as the “head” of the family, have ascribed an unsaid code of obedience towards the elderly men of the society. The academic utilisation of this cultural motif of feared father-figures can be found in George
Lakoff's “strict father model of family,” where he uses the simile of a law-imposing, strict father from a “traditional” family setting to define a strict government. Although he uses the gender-neutral phrase “nurturant parent” as the opposite model and states that the naming could have been a “strict mother” in many cases, he adds that naming it the strict father model is an “idealization” stance, catering to the US society. This also ultimately contributes to the notion of supremacy of father-figures and their claim to uncontested authority.
The sexual innuendo associated with the daddy metaphor, typically used to signify an aged man in a partnership with a younger individual, is the most pervasive connotation of all time. While this extraction is commonly attributed to the Freudian study of Oedipal and Electra complexes elaborating the inherent sexual attraction of an individual towards the parent of the opposite sex, some sources also state that its origin dates back to 17th-century prostitutes who referred to their elderly male customers as daddy. This latter conclusion was likely a subset of the quest for a provider in the father of the household prevalent during that age, as subsequently, for a sex worker, an elderly male client, or the pimp assumed this protective, albeit transactional role. By the 20th-century, the provider metaphor for daddy had percolated into musical genres, as can be noticed in the Blues by Bessie Smith or Ethel Waters, where the provider-daddy was treated as a lover, and was romanticised. This trope entered the mainstream with renditions such as My Heart Belongs to Daddy, which followed the voice of a lady whose affair with daddy, supposedly an older man, makes her more invested in love, or as in Bobby Troup’s Jazz composition Daddy, describing a girl’s elderly lover, who provides for her unceasing materialistic demands. On the other hand, the literary productions of the 20th-century were producing a different theme of the daddy metaphor, which was mostly governed by sexual and political undertones.
The daddy metaphor presented by Sylvia Plath in her seminal poem titled Daddy, was one of the first instances when we come across an amalgamation of the sexual and the political connotations of the term. Her poem was also possibly the first depiction of viewing a political personage through eroticized lenses. Beginning her poem as an account addressed to her own father, Plath systematically blends the image of her father with that of the Nazi Führer, Adolf Hitler, writing,
I have always been scared of you,
With your Luftwaffe, your gobbledygoo
And your neat mustache
And your Aryan eye, bright blue.
Panzer-man, panzer-man, O You——
Plath has eventually compared herself with the Jews during World War II, and written, “I began to talk like a Jew/ I think I may well be a Jew.” Although her account conveys a sense of fear and claustrophobia administered by the fathers she has referred to in her composition, she further sexualises this equation by writing, “Every woman adores a Fascist.” Plath’s confessional poetry discussing her own father alongside an infamous political personality, alluding to intense human suffering to express her own suffering, and eventually viewing the process through a sexual lens, potentially serves as a feminist reutilisation of the metaphor.
The dynamics between the daddy metaphor and queer cinema, however, have another intriguing tale to tell. Some of the literature chosen for cinematic adaptations depicting queer relationships shows a trend of featuring the desire of a younger boy for an elusive and intellectual older man.
Some great examples fitting this category are Elio and Oliver in Call Me by Your Name, or George and Kenny in A Single Man. Besides the many other thematic explorations in queer films, this particular one offers insights into possibly an eroticized mentorship and somewhat bears semblance with the pining for the older lover noticed in the musical compositions. This recurrent psychology of sexualising domination and ignorance by an individual of authority might arise from the sense of agency that the Others feel from casting a reverse sexual gaze, and has surprisingly manifested into a collective trend in today’s times.
The contemporary trajectory of the daddy metaphor, which started with sexualising the political chaosmakers with autocratic lineage, has gradually escalated to universal sexualisation of authority. However, the interesting part is that this practice has become so normalised that the term is often loosely dropped across disparate contexts to the extent of being separated from any particular gender or social group. This has also facilitated some subversive retellings of the daddy metaphor, where its complex lineage of meanings is breached and reclaimed. A primary example is Alex Cooper’s podcast, Call Her Daddy, which presents candid interviews with women who play the role of “Daddies” in their own lives, and effectively de-genders the daddy metaphor. While the examples discussed so far are some of the decisive milestones in the metaphor’s journey, alongside these, exists a constellation of other connotations, both congruent and contradictory, that cling to the term.
Enabled by the reach of social media, the term has also been colloquialized into a nickname for a certain category of individuals in society. Simultaneously, its diffusion into the mainstream societal matrix has reached a saturation point as the daddy metaphor is now embraced by those very subjects who are called “Daddies” and is even worn as an identity by some. This transition can be exceedingly noticeable amongst the “Daddies” in politics as they reutilise this societal branding as a title of desire. Although most of the former connotations of the daddy metaphor have been succeeded by a more age-specific meaning, they have continued to be relevant, irrespective of changing times. Therefore, with a glimpse of its imminent future, arguably having a greater influence on the political realm than it has ever had before, we may ask: how will the term function with the weight of historical baggage that it carries? Or, will its inherent heterogeneity be rendered trivial? Serving as sexual and individual agency for some, as a mockery directed towards a few others, to being a taboo word and a tool of political identity, it is worth observing how the daddy metaphor gets restructured by society hereafter.
Originally from Kolkata and currently living in Heidelberg, Adrita is a student of Literature and Culture. Additionally, she is interested in recording her perspectives about society through a little research and a little storytelling.